Sunday Will Never Be The Same

The Thrill is Gone
Faith became real for me in 1980. That’s when I decided to live it. To make it a reality in my day-to-day life. From that point on, my faith meant something. There was a new center of gravity in my universe and his name was Jesus. My life and marriage and growing family became part of something bigger. We had a new mission and it was fun and a little scary, but mostly it was amazing. What started as a personal connection with Jesus grew and expanded to include folks who shared the same passion and purpose as me. That was the start of my romance. I fell in love with the church.

Now, after 35 Years, we’ve grown apart. The thrill is gone. We just don’t have that much in common any more. We never spend time together. There’s no passion. We’ve recently gone our separate ways. I’ve seen it coming for a long time, but it seems there’s no way for us to reconcile our differences.  It’s been painful, but I know it’s the best thing for both of us. Sometimes I wonder where it went wrong.  One of us has changed. The church that I fell in love with no longer captivates me or holds any attraction for me. I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I feel like a wounded partner in a broken romantic relationship. The words of this song best express the way I feel.

“I remember Sunday morning
I would meet him at the park
We’d walk together hand in hand
‘Til it was almost dark
Now I wake up Sunday morning
Walk across the way to find
Nobody waiting for me
Sunday’s just another day

Sunday will never be the same
(Sunday will never be the same)
I’ve lost my Sunday song
He’ll not be back again”
– Performed by Spanky & Our Gang / written by Terry Cashman/Gene Pistilli

Fully Organic
Now I’m finally ready to move on. Writing this blog is part of my therapy. What I’ve learned is the church is fully organic. It’s a living organism, not an organization. It’s alive and full of passion and energy. It’s not some dead, religious place where weekly rituals are performed to satisfy a God who seems just as bored as we are. The church is organic because the church is people. We are the church. We don’t go to a church; we take the church with us wherever we go. Jesus famously said that wherever two or three are gathered in his name that he’s there with us. When I was a kid I was taught this cute little poem with hand motions. It goes something like this: “Here is the church and here is the steeple. Open the door and see all the people.” No wonder I got messed up. This cute little saying is totally bogus. I guess you could say that after all these years what I fell out of love with is an organization.

Commitment Issues
I’ve come to realize that the church I fell in love with no longer exists. When I connected with people I experienced life and encouragement and fulfillment. And I think I helped my friends experience the same thing. But over time I realized that the organization was hindering, not helping me experience life. I’m not blaming anyone. Organizations are conceived and operated by people, but I no longer share anything in common with an organization. It’s a counterfeit version of the real church. Some would say I have commitment issues. Maybe they’re right. But I cannot be committed to or loyal to an organization. I’m still in the process of figuring things out. I want real, genuine relationships with real people. The thrill is gone, but I want it back.